National Poetry Day (28 Sept)

The story of us is the authentic story

Here are some very wise and timely words on story-telling. The distinction is not so much between fiction and non-fiction as our rationally educated western mind makes. The distinction is more between an authentic and an inauthentic story. Wow.

An inauthentic story is about you. Whereas an authentic story is about us. In the times we live where the system is in sort of end game death spiral we need medicine from our stories. A medicine we need now is stories about me and you. Stories that involve us. Stories that build bridge, make community, bring us together as one and in all our diversity, beauty and disquiet.

Thank you Barry Lopez for telling it like it is.

When I get sick ...

I love and totally agree with the sentiments above and yet when a virus encompasses me the ability to be aesthetically arrested ebbs slowly away until one day I can begin questioning the meaning of life entirely.

It's too easy to take ones health for granted and to sometimes not fully appreciate or empathise with others not in full health. It's amazing how a lose of ones energy for an extended period of time not only has its obvious physical effects it can also grind down ones confidence and self-esteem.

Gradually life gets whittled down to the essentials. Friends are one by one left at the curb. Fun stuff no longer feels fun. A strange kind of boredom sets in. All because the umpff of life has deflated. The fuel dial is on the E for empty.

Negatives seem the size of an immovable house and positives the size of a gnat by comparison. Perspective floats off in a tiny leaky boat.

Time passes. Seasons change. All will be well again one day. But sadly not soon enough when I feel this rubbish. I am over feeling like a damp rag.

Bring on the something different.  Bring on the rainbows and glitter showers. Let full spectrum colour return with a power surge to boost.

May it be so ...

I write this to remind myself that black clouds are not forever and yet when they hover over head the task of Sisyphus looms large.

What if ...?

Listening recently to a regular Youtuber and astrologer Steve Judd he posed a question, "What if you could eliminate one type of prejudice, what would it be?"

One of his clients replied, "Let's get rid of 'Identity Politics'. You're either a human being or you are not. Everything else is power grabbing socially engineered claptrap."

Interesting response. I like the sentiment. Although I could possible go one step further and suggest, 'you're either a living being or not'. All life is to be honoured and respected, not only human life.

Life is beautiful. All we need do is look around. That might seem contradictory in a world full of pain and suffering. And yet in all that is bleak and dark their is a seed of hope and light. That's what stops the toxic stuff from overwhelming us. The tide always turns.

Becoming Indigenous

You are indigenous. It is your birth right. You belong even if you don't always feel that way. For some us it is difficult to remember this and to know how our ancestors stayed in relationship to the elements, seasons, land and old ones who have gone before. In the creeping homogeneity that culture serves up there is a place in our hearts that asks of us not to forget who we really are and where we come from. 

Becoming Indigenous is first and foremost a call. A deeply resonant invitation that like birdsong at dawn, speaks beauty to your soul. You will know if this programme is for you by many, often non-rational, signs that will keep returning to tap you on the shoulder and whisper in your ear … now is the time, this is for you, do it.

Becoming Indigenous is an immersion in the traditional ways of ritual, ceremony and divination which all peoples have used and some of us have forgotten. The purpose of these traditional ways is to connect us to place and people, namely our ancestors – the old ones. In doing so we become more whole, more rounded, more kind and generous human beings.

The programme is intentionally personal and experiential. We are like modern day explorers relearning and remembering how to weave ourselves into the web of life. This is not to decry the contribution, value and usefulness of technology and science. We are not advocating a rejection or rebuttal of the life many of us lead in cities and towns around the world. What we are suggesting is there is so much more to being human than is currently on offer through social norms, conventional education and institutional religion.

Becoming Indigenous should serve to expand our notion of life and humanness and draw us into the magic, wonder and mystery to be found beyond the frontiers of our intellectual rational knowing. There is so much more to us than our thoughts. We have a huge creative potential, vast intuitive capacities and deep wells of emotion to expand ourselves into. We have dreams and archetypes and stories that embrace us if only we took that time to notice.

If you are seeking to be among people who have not let go of the old ways and wish to sit in circle with them and share in their practices, stories and rituals – then this is a caravan for you, hook up your camel and join us. We make no gestures towards outcomes or destinations for we know not where we will end up ourselves. What we offer is deep companionship, rich conversation, meaningful exchange and dedicated experienced co-travellers as guides.

What will be revealed is also not in our power to predict or control. However, we have gallant, brave and wise elders available to send a ray of light into dark corners, to sing out melodies and tunes that catch our tears and provide stories to nourish us along the road. You do not travel alone.

Over the coming days, as you notice the sun dipping below the horizon, or the raven dropping a feather from its wing, or the salmon leaping above the glistening river, or the wind sending out an unexpected wave through the long grass remember that life is trying to tell you something and that something may just be ‘don’t forget us, we have something to say’. Our hearts know this to be true. That is why we seek to belong and to be connected to our land and our people. That is why we are becoming indigenous.

For more information click on Becoming Indigenous Programme Schumacher College (September 2017 - July 2018). 

Immersion

Painting: Immersion by Ornella Imber

What lies beneath the beneath,
Flowing in the river I cannot see?
From which well did I spring?
I wish I could return there now,
To that place again
And dress it with garlands of flowers.
How do I begin to say thank you
For the life I was given?
Sacrifices made which I know not,
Without which I could not be here.
A blackbirds song will never sound so sweet
unless some recompense is lain down.
It is not magic that I am here,
That anyone of us is here.
Like starlight glistening in a darkened sky,
Our lives are meant to shine.
From the midst of forgotten dreams
A measure of honey is offered to those gone before.
The old one I cannot see,
Their tears fall upon me like bejewelled rain drops.
A reminder of our unceasing unbroken connection.
I will not let go.
My grip is assured, even when storms of doubt rage.
For I am hewn from granite rock.

Anxiety

I am being tempered by the fire of life

My anxiety has reared its dragon like head again. Tendrils of smoke ascending upwards from its nostrils in satisfaction. This sends off shards of negative thoughts and feelings. Shame for succumbing to defeat. The inability to overcome this seeming innocuous obstacle. The sense of belittlement grows with a very unpalatable story of weakness whizzing around my head. Eye contact becomes painful. Nervous laughter when admitting how I am dodging my responsibilities and what to some appears like an amazing opportunity. All of which is a huge knock to my self esteem and confidence. A perfect storm of crushing negativity. I don't like myself or life that much on days like this.

What to do?

I used to employ the classic British response of the stiff upper lip. That is to say, tough it out. A little like holding your breath under water. In order to do that, at its most extreme, it require a disassociation from what is happening, resulting in a disconnection from the emotions swelling up inside. I would sometimes do my best to hide and avoid horror inducing experiences.

Feeling safe and being safe is ok

Finding effective and healthy ways to do this is not so obvious, at least for me it isn't. Admitting to being overwhelmed seems to only serve to exacerbate the problem. Now I am wanting to find more consistent and effective ways to take care of myself during periods of anxiety. Maybe even to anticipate and alleviate the full extent of what this malaise can drag in its wake.

I feel like a small child again taking baby steps in learning how to be kind to myself, to acquire the self knowledge of how to be ok in the big bad world out there. There must be some advantages to being sensitive. Heavens knows, right now, I would like to know what they are. I don't want to live through life teflon coated or numbed out by allopathic medicines. Nor do I want to be debilitated by the upscale and complex impacts of modern living.

From The Centre

At the centre is life
Water is Life
In all its forms
Next to water lies Fire
And Earth and Air
Conjoined by Spirit and Soul

Place life on your alter
Bring your offerings and your prayers
Lay down your worries and troubles
Say yes to the possible, to the holy

Take a moment and from here walk
Walk out destination unknown
Your are a pilgrim to life
For once be called and guided
Let a place choose you
And when chosen bow your head

Bow your head to beauty
Beauty is all around you
Unbounded behold its golden healing glow
Let beauty embrace your heart
And seep into every cell of your body

Only listen and be still
Let in that which is yours
Yours alone to hear and know
This sound, this cry of the Earth
Is your song
The one you were born with.

Exciting Times

To quote someone I have not met in person but whom I follow on Youtube;

"These are very exciting times, but they do need us to think in a different kind of way!" - Dave Erasmus.

Quite.

Inequality.

Brexit.

Climate Change.

Invisible.

Interwebs.

Trump.

Creativity.

Terror, fear and violence of any kind.

Democracy.

Corbyn.

Immigrant.

Uncertainty.

Putin.

Imagination.

North Korea.

Generosity.

Asylum Seekers.

Relationships.

Corruption.

Mass Extinction.

Food Banks.

Community.

Offshore Tax Evasion.

Freedom.

Story.

Wholeness.

Dignified and the Efficient.

Kindness.

Authenticity.

Possibility.

Potential.

Change.

Connection.

Community

A few years back I had the unexpected and previously unsought experience of living in an intentional temporary community. It was intentional in that people chose to be there and contribute to its care for weeks or months and occasionally in my case years. It was temporary because the flow and movement of members was high.

I was drawn to the haven like qualities this sanctuary offered up to me. Little did I foresee or know in advance what this experience would really provide.

It is rare in our contractual and transactional societies to find as an adult a place to live and serve which does not involve the exchange of money in either direction. To be unleashed and freed from the influence of financial necessities allowed for a more natural and unfettered state of being. Of course there is free will. I did have a choice as to whether I followed through on the suggested tasks I completed each day. And I could, if I wished, go over and above this suggested contribution in other less directed ways. What this led to was behaviour and actions that in any other settings I would not have countenanced and yet in a caring intentional community is was satisfying and rewarding to offer support for the benefit of others. Often these others were people I would not know or maybe meet.

What I gained was this deep sense of giving for the benefit of a greater whole and yes I got a strong feeling of appreciation in a generalised sense from this whole. What was unexpected and unique was to have this flow of appreciation be unmediated by money. I was not being bought. I was not prostituting my time and skills. I was gifting my time and contribution to others.

It could be argued I was getting a reward of sorts because my board and lodgings were covered in this process. There is something in this argument, especially if someone had no other means by which to place a roof over their heads and food on the table. That was luckily not my circumstances. I could leave whenever I wanted to and I had a place to go to and the means to feed myself. So what compelled me to stay so long?

I found when money was removed I could fundamentally relax in mind and body in ways I had not been able to achieve before. My contribution was not being judged by the market place. The work I completed each day was received in quite a different spirit. I could therefore stop worrying if what I was doing was good enough. My turning up and being available to help was enough. Difference was celebrated and understood. No one person would do the same tasks in exactly the same way.

When money was removed I only wanted and took what I needed. There was not the necessity to store excess because of the shared pot available equally to all in the community.

I began to understand what it is truly like to serve without there being some financial gain involved.

To live in a community is healing and a privilege. There are so many of life's activities, rituals and celebrations that become more profound when offered and/ or received in a community context.

As the quote above declares, nothing in nature lives for itself. I know what this means having had the experience I had living in an intentional community. I am not sure I would truly know what this means if I had not done so.

What is it women want?

A much asked question that doesn't always have an obvious answer. Story-tellers and mythologists might point you in one direction. Psychologists and therapists another.

Here's my contribution;

Lost Innocence

The graves of tiny children killed in conflicts all over the world are a daily reminder of the futility of war and violence.

  

Spring Equinox

A host of golden daffodils can only mean one thing - oh yes - it's Spring Equinox. Being spring the weather does not know what to do with itself. One minute the sun is shining and the skies are blue. The next it's as if the lights have gone out, thunderous dark clouds pass over head and rain, hail and ice descend from above. In between rainbows appear with their own brand of uplifting magic. Suffice to say it's very mixed weather.

Life has been intense, full, turbulent of late. Hence the distinct lack of blogs.

Too much going on all over the shop. I feel like the characters in The Incredibles with immensely extendable limbs that stretch off into the distance.

What has shown up are the archetypes. I am trying to get my head around the directions, the elements and the archetypes. When forces are internally and externally conflictual and flipping and divisive it is time to pay attention to what wants to be heard. This is old and ancestral.

Fire and Water as polarities can come together. But if not done with care the fizz, bang, pop and cracking can get fierce. Not a place to hang-out in for too long.

It's time to move my body, reconnect and remember.
It's time to light a fire and be by water and learn.