Transformation

There has been much heavy slow overwhelming energy around today. Despite the rain that fell last night a residue of tension lingers in the air. It can sometimes feel like you are coming up against a wall. Bang!

I went out to the labyrinth as an alternative to meditation. I felt the need to be in the fresh air and to move, be active rather than still. The magical labyrinth never fails to reveal something to me. This time as I began to tread slowly around the path a small brown frog hopped out in front of me. Not knowing much about the frog animal totem I'm reminded to look it up on my return.

Before I could do this the dinner gong sounded. I ate my dinner alone on one of the picnic tables beside the classroom. It's quiet there and I'm facing some beautiful trees. It's my day off and somehow I've barely done anything I had intended. Feeling restless I decided to take myself off to the moor for a walk round Venford Reservoir. I collected Becky on route and off we zoomed along the winding narrow lanes higher and higher until we passed acrossed a cattle grid and appeared up on top of the wide open moorland. It was not long until we were wandering down by the shore line of Venford. The recent dry weather has resulted in shrinking water levels. Becky splash about to her hearts content running in and out of the water, as we neared the feeder stream the ground seemed as if it was moving underneath our feet. On closer inspection I could see tens of tiny black frogs hopping from land to water. The frog appearing twice in one day. Now I knew I had to check out what this represents.

Back home I settle down to read about the frog animal totem and this is what I discovered;

The frog is the totem of metamorphosis. It symbolizes coming into your personal power. It reminds us not to become bogged down with day-to-day living.

It is the totem of water. Its voice calls forth the rains. Emotions are associated with water and a frog totem may be telling you to get in touch with your feelings.

People with frog medicine give support and energy where it is needed. They can cleanse the negativity from an environment.

It is time for transformation and for some frog energy.

Let this then be

Let this then
Three simple words
Let this then
And yet I know
I will be undone
Let this then
Continues to its end
And I have slipped
Descending into
The lived experience
Feeling not thinking
Into a place
That opens me to faith
And once again David Whyte
In his inimitable style
Has moved the seemingly
Immoveable object in me
My heart is wide open
For all to see
Unhidden, unmasked and free,
Let this then
Be my new faith
In poetry.

Inspired by David Whyte's poem Faith

I want to write about faith,
about the way the moon rises
over cold snow, night after night,

faithful even as it fades from fullness,
slowly becoming that last curving and impossible
sliver of light before the final darkness.

But I have no faith myself
I refuse it even the smallest entry.

Let this then, my small poem,
like a new moon, slender and barely open,
be the first prayer that opens me to faith.

The middle of my onion

If I were an onion what is in the middle?
Would I dare to share it with you?
Do I even know what is there?

I could sit in therapy
Hour after hour
Peeling back layer after layer of my onion.

To what end?

I could find a life coach
Who would ask me questions
On where the middle of my onion wants to be.

Would I ever get there?

Is it not enough to know
As an onion I have layers and a middle
That is me, an onion for all to see.

Circles are everywhere

Earlier this week I travelled to Wiltshire with two special friends, we camped overnight in a field opposite from Stonehenge, rising at 5.30am to join a small group of people to sing and dance the stones into a new day.


Whilst inside the stones I could sense and feel many types of circles, as well as the obvious standing stone circle I was within, there is our Mother Earth circle. We sang, chanted, moved and danced among the stones connecting with Gaia, our Mother Earth, to listen to her and to show our love and gratitude. There was a smaller crystal circle in the middle of us as we in the group held hands forming another circle. With my eyes closed and my heart open I could see the circle of the milky way in my minds eye. Circles are everywhere.



I spoke about how for me the symbol of the circle represents home and I'm reminded of when playing in the first snowfall of the winter just gone I instinctively drew circles in the crisp white snow up on Ilkley moor.



With no beginning or ending
a circle is a complete connection
it is equality in experience
all is one and all is home.

What happens to one
happens to us all.
This is wholeness!

I've gone from dreaming to steaming in 2 days ...

... what's that about?

In the last couple of days I've experienced two major mechanical breakdowns, first my car and second my hot water tank. It's a times like these I'm reminded how much I take all life's mechanical, ecological, social systems for granted. They are quietly doing their thing and only get the proper acknowledgement for what they provide when they stop. As so often life happens in three's I'm left asking, what's the next thing to break I wonder? All the kaputness is a much needed reality check ... I should be more grateful for the multiplicitous functionings that are operating every single milli-second of the day. To all the wondrous magical goodness out there THANK YOU. You are appreciated, honestly.

am I dreaming?

did yesterday happen as I remember it?
my life is taking on a dream like quality,
what is real and what is fantasy?
it does not feel like my heart is where I am,
I want to be home again.