What is it women want?

A much asked question that doesn't always have an obvious answer. Story-tellers and mythologists might point you in one direction. Psychologists and therapists another.

Here's my contribution;

Lost Innocence

The graves of tiny children killed in conflicts all over the world are a daily reminder of the futility of war and violence.

  

Spring Equinox

A host of golden daffodils can only mean one thing - oh yes - it's Spring Equinox. Being spring the weather does not know what to do with itself. One minute the sun is shining and the skies are blue. The next it's as if the lights have gone out, thunderous dark clouds pass over head and rain, hail and ice descend from above. In between rainbows appear with their own brand of uplifting magic. Suffice to say it's very mixed weather.

Life has been intense, full, turbulent of late. Hence the distinct lack of blogs.

Too much going on all over the shop. I feel like the characters in The Incredibles with immensely extendable limbs that stretch off into the distance.

What has shown up are the archetypes. I am trying to get my head around the directions, the elements and the archetypes. When forces are internally and externally conflictual and flipping and divisive it is time to pay attention to what wants to be heard. This is old and ancestral.

Fire and Water as polarities can come together. But if not done with care the fizz, bang, pop and cracking can get fierce. Not a place to hang-out in for too long.

It's time to move my body, reconnect and remember.
It's time to light a fire and be by water and learn.

Advise for those living at the edges outside the mainstream

Rumi says to those who live at the fertile and also highly uncertain edges of life;

We must become ignorant
Of all we've been taught,
And, be instead, bewildered.

Run from what's profitable and comfortable
If you drink those liqueurs, you'll spill
The spring water of your real life.

Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.

I have tried prudent planning
Long enough, from now
On, I'll live mad.

Rest assured if your actions or ideas are being derided by the status quo you maybe onto something worth following. Trust your intuition and feelings. Now is a time to bring forth from mysterious places. In itself this requires not knowing what is to come or where it is to come from. As paradoxical as this may seem it is nevertheless necessary to set out and seek a new.

Found

I can't begin to tell you how long I have been searching for this poem. I first came across the poetry of Kevin Gilbert about eight years ago. By chance I came across the poem 'Unity' while meandering the shelves of the Schumacher College library. Books have a habit of finding people (well me) when in that space.

A few years ago the library was reclassified and rearranged afterwards when I looked for the book I could not find it anywhere. Eventually I gave up gravely worried it had been purged during the revamp. There was no hand written index card. There was no presence of it in the poetry section.

Then last year when on a wild camping night my friend Daisy unexpectedly produced the book. We were sat around the camp fire with the moon shining down fro above that night and it felt right to be reading poetry aloud. And there is was Unity. Wow. That moment in itself felt like magic enough.

Fast forward to today. Blue Monday as the second working Monday of the new year is also know. Not always a high point in anyones week, month or year. I am inspired to look for a book in the WL (World Literature) section of the library  ... and there it was Kevin Gilbert 'Black from the Edge'. What? I go back to the index deck and look, no index card. After years of searching there it is, seemingly out of nowhere reappearing on the book shelves agin. It feels like another piece of magic. Thank You Magic.

Here's the poem.

if only this were real

To Lower The Bar or Not To Lower The Bar

One of my teachers starts morning sessions with the five minute poem. After listening to some inspiring poems we are invited to simply write. What comes from these five minutes is often jaw droppingly incredible. And yet as Martin will say to help those of us nervous to share our scribbles, 'let's lower the bar'. There is a celebration in the poems we offer to the group being awkward, bad or at best just terrible. It's not about the quality of the writing. It is about the act of writing itself. How refreshing and human to allow a welcome space for everything to be ok.

Martin is want to share the story of William Stafford who when asked how does he write such amazing poetry, answers write everyday and lower your expectations.

It's like people who daily vlog on youtube, when you can filter and edit what people see there is the tendency to control and show only the good stuff in their lives, or at least not reveal anything you don't want others to see. Poets publish what they want you to read. We don't see the writing or editing process. Nor do we see those poems that remain in the locked study room draw.

I have decided to let myself off the hook, lower the bar and just write my blog and hit the publish button - come what may. My hope is that at some point in the future with lots of writing experience under my belt combined with a reduction in self consciousness, that my writing will become much closer to what it is I am trying to express.

I have noticed that when I try too hard or push too much my writing is awkward and clunky. Automatic writing still contains a lot of random stuff and to be honest dross, but maybe there will be the occasional sentence or two that I am proud of.

Let's see ...

Presence in 2017

The word presence means 'to exist in a place'. It is the art of being. Not so much about the past or the future, but of the moment. My interest in presence has been sparked by a quote from the phenomenologist Merleau-Ponty. He suggests that consciousness 'does not give me truth like geometry but presences' [quoted in Stang, 2009). Is this saying, I wonder, that consciousness gives us experiences;  such that awareness comes in a form of presences?

In our world where science is the dominant philosophy facts and truth are objectively trusted and what's more valued above qualities of feeling, imagination and intuition. This can place personal experiences and ordinary daily life into a lowly category. If you imagine most if not nearly all people live in the everyday no wonder self esteem and wellbeing is taking a hammering in our modern life.

Presence invites a different stance if you will. It asks us to become open and aware to our experiences. All of our experiences, the explained and the unexplained. To value the ordinary in our lives. Doing the daily chores. Waking up to a brand new day. Reaching out the simple hand of friendship to those in need. Attending to the school run, the shopping, or the journey home from work. Knocking on the door of our neighbours to check-in.

In the race to the top of an invisible (arguably nonexistent) ladder how often do we stop to take in the awe of the beauty around us? The enjoyment in making a simple meal for our family and friends. Going for a walk to the nearby river where we live. Or stopping to watch the sunset.

How fantastic it is to witness and be a part of such everyday awesome experiences and not feel the need to classify them as special in order to validate ourselves or what happened.

That's my wish for 2017. To be able to take in and celebrate the ordinariness of my life. To see the gift in the everyday. And to see how that stance of being in the presence shapes and moulds my life and relationships.

It starts today on Sunday 01 January with the joy of rain. Yes rain can be enjoyed, for water is sacred, it is life itself. Without it I would not be here, nor much of anything else I can see from my window. Yet in the United Kingdom where I live rain is not always seen in this way. Water is not often scarce. If anything due to climate change water has become a powerful force resulting in seasonal flooding. However, for many in other parts of the world water is becoming increasingly hard to find. Rain is seen as the foreteller of change and a blessing to be appreciated. I am therefore fortunate today to be able to watch the water fall from the clouds above.

Prayer to the place I am of ...

A prayer to the place I am of ...

The rock rises strongly
Uncompromisingly from below
Making upward motions
Holding secrets that are whispered
Out onto the breath of winds
Carried a far to lands in distant places
The green fields line the valley
Banking up to the rivers edge
Folding into the waters
Flowing speedily by
Uncontrollable, unabashed water
Brings its life quenching message
Reminding me of what power really means
And who we should be listening to
Up on the moor
The bracken tops unfurl
Swaying in the breeze
At summers height they present
Hidden cover from the beating
Rays of the sun
Only to shrink back again
Comes winters frost
No thaw insight
Icy fingers grow along the tributaries
Falling toward the lowlands

Peacemaking

Just saying ... 

... easier said than done.
Better said than not.

Dimpsy Time

Dusk is enveloping from all around
Like a Russian Doll my body contains
The forty nine years I have loved
Each year a doll with a different face, skin and memories
Eyes look out and up into
The Patterning fingers of leaves
Each leaf a curling invitation into the cosmos
Death is calling now
Its warm bell of relief
One inevitable day to visit
Darkness falls
Flickering orange eyes of distant beasts
Are waking into the night
Be there dragons not far from here?
Stillness descends within, settling outside, to still
Until the silhouetted blacks enclose
One last time.

Ruin Nation

Why can you not see what I see?
I try to scream out
Only silence
I am here and invisible to you
In this lonely Ice Palace
When did the freeze come?

Water is everywhere
Too much water
I stop at the flooded road
Scared the waters will rise and take me
I'll be forever gone

I go alone riding the waves
Wishing you were by my side
The waters will subside, one day
The thaw will come
Will we be the same?

From Within Look Out

In the light of events this year, 2016, the view hasn't always been a pretty one. Contemplating political outcomes like Brexit and the US election can invoke a polarising response. The far right and the far left gather their troops, To some these are fantastic liberating times where the voiceless, marginalised and some might say less visible members of community feel rightly heard and others feel severed and divided from their land and feel the fear growing within.

What is happening in Standing Rock, Aleppo, Ukraine, Columbia. Brazil (the list is seemingly endless) ... shows how the human world is becoming more divided and where people are standing up for their values and beliefs.

I heard one reporter from the Wall Street Journal site a conversation with a Trump voter on election night describing the unfolding story not as a political milestone but as 'Spiritual' in its significance to them. There are voices speaking out now that are reaching deep into emotional places to let out what wants to be heard. No matter how seemingly unpalatable, politically incorrect, mislead or misjudged some may portray these utterances, what is not helpful is to continue not to listen.

Not listening only sends people and voices deeper into exile, and the deeper into exile they go the more strongly it will rebound to bite back when it does finally come around.

As I sit and look out on what is going on in 2016, the language of division grows ever more deafening. The schisms and chasms are more stark and the depth of despair widens with it. This is a very dark vantage point upon which to stand.

I choose to be part of the hoop of life, where there is a recognised place for everyone. No one being is more important than any other. Each has their role to play. In this way differences and diversity serve the richness of thriving life. In order to live well we have to learn how to get along. We have to focus on responsibilities more so than on our rights. We have an opportunity to see what brings us together more so than what drives us apart.

The richest most fertile places to be are on the edges of systems, be they biological, social, ecological, economic ... here difference and change come together and the need to adapt, shape shift and transform is at it's highest. This is where invention, innovation and creativity springs from and wells up anew to regenerate and serve life.

Now is the time to seek out the edgy places, people and beings wanting to effect change and to open up new opportunities.

Listen to the voiceless.

Life can and wants to thrive. Be in right relations. Be big hearted and respectful. Offer the hand of peace and friendship without knowing or expecting something in return. Let kindness be your watchword. Follow the river of generosity. The horizon is yet a dream away and soon to be a reality. Dream Big. Dream It All. And Dream Life.