Dartmoor Winter Pilgrimage

(Notes from time spent with Carolyn Hillyer, Nigel Shaw and Martin Shaw at Lower Merripit Farm, Dartmoor, Devon from the 30 November – 4 December 2015.)

Indigenous people honour ancestors and the land. As we arrived at our new home for the next four days we found a shrine before us mapping out a winter pilgrimage rooted in Dartmoor. The four directions are set; Wild Horse represents the untamed spirit of the land; Reindeer is the ancient memory; Bear is winter in all its darkness and Owl is night and the ancestors.

The skull of the wild horse is our totem. Dartmoor upon which our feet are pressed represents freedom.

Ancient men and women travel deep within our myths and we carry their stories inside of us. Women who carry heron feathers in their hair remember our people connected to us by blood or land, shaping the road upon which we choose to travel. The stories we carry flow, change and grow as we move. They are mythic, too old to be defined by history and a linear concept of time. They fit more into our ecology and cycles.

We place our feet into the footsteps of our ancestors and tie our spirit to the ancient land. Listen and hear the songs sounding out on these old roads. They resonate with the voices of our ancestors. As we walk we sing of returning, belonging and home. Wild land is crucial to the return.

How do we return to the wild land inside ourselves? What will we find there?

If we are ever blessed to see this land something in us is returned, completed and blessed.

On Dartmoor White Horse Hill woman’s burial site was recently revealed to us again after 4,000 years. Her burial chamber became eroded out of the peat in which in lay. Not for 100 years has anyone touched a Cistven. During the excavation a full intact bone bundle was found. Her bones had been cremated and wrapped around her burial goods.  A 200-beaded necklace was found, this included 7 amber beads and there was also one tin nugget representing the wealth of these lands at that time. The oldest example of spindled wood was found and all these offerings were wrapped in bearskin. This is a truly significant find connecting us to the ancestors of Dartmoor. On the northern section of the moor an arc of ceremonial circles all point towards the White Horse Hill ridge. This is a deeply ritual landscape. Even more recently a new stone circle has been uncovered to further confirm this. The energy is to be observed, felt and experienced when you are here.

Reindeer invites us to journey north to connect us with our time of ice on the lands. There was a time when we were all nomadic. There was a constant search for migration trails showing the movement patterns of our ancestors.  Reindeer roads are awakened and kept alive through our dreams, remembering and song. The reindeer road is the meeting place. Here past and future connect and over lap. We feel the memory of ice on the ice road. Hearth fires have warmed our people through the oldest and coldest times. Our drum is the vessel of the reindeer road. We cradle its mystery in the drum. It’s no longer enough to weep and sing about the loss of our ancestors and their ways.

Bear is next on the wheel of our journey. It represents winter, being in the mystery, death, transformation and thresholds to be crossed. Forty thousand years ago twelve cave bear skulls were found in a circle. Each of the skulls was resting on bear claws. In the centre was a thirteenth big bear skull also resting on bear claws. The skulls are 40,000 years old, carbon dated after they were found a decade ago. It shows Neanderthal people also had a spiritual life and made shrines. There is an old man who guards the cave where the bear skulls were found. You can still go inside the cave if you have permission.

There is no limit to how far back you can go in your journey to connect with our ancestors. We can go back through human, more than human, animal, elemental, rock – eventually we find we are connected to everything. The drum is also a symbol of connection to indigenous peoples. The sacred drum is a symbol of the non-hierarchical, non-religious connection between people, the world and all of life. It’s a symbol of our own indigenous roots. Drums are egalitarian. What happens when our drums are taken from us, exiled, broken and forgotten? How, then, do we keep alive our songs and connect to the ancestors and land? The situation for indigenous peoples for some is getting better than it has been. Some drums are back in the hands of those who treasure them. It is at night the drums come into their own and sing across the land to other hidden drums.

As the wheel turns once more we find Owl, who represents our journey into the night. Owl is an intuitive oracle. Owl is about broken stories and the mending of these stories. We witness and remember in the tent of broken stories. We weave hope in the tent of mending stories. It is important to honour both tents. We are story carriers and as such we have a duty of care to keep sharing the old stories to raise awareness.  It’s our responsibility to keep our ancestors warm and alive.

In front of us our alter has parts of Tawny owls from these lands of Dartmoor. Related to owl and the air is the flute. Sound and music are very much part of being human. Flutes are musical instruments perfectly bonded with the land and the materials of a place and make the sound of that place. Indigenous peoples have a triad of instruments; the drum, the rattle and the flute. You will find representations of these three instruments all over the planet.

We have more examples of flutes made by our ancestors because they were made from materials that do not decay like wood and animal skin used to make drums. Old flutes made from animal bone and clay have been found, for example, in southern Germany a flute made from the bone from a vulture has been dated as 40,000 years old.

Homo sapiens arrived in Europe 50,000 years ago travelling up from Asia and Africa. These peoples definitely brought with them their flutes. In a 45 – 50,000 year old burial site a bear bone flute has been uncovered. A flute has a descriptive sound quality much broader than that of human words. Our ancestor’s musical minds are locked into a different discipline of music. Part of being a human being is a musicality; it brings with it a second voice. Back then it would not be something specialised as it has become today.

Pilgrimage

That afternoon we made our own rattles from wild horse skin and river stones sewn onto sticks given by nearby trees. And we fashioned simple flutes, or whistles using half a walnut shell, sanded discs of wood and hollowed out ash twigs for reeds. These instruments were needed on the pilgrimage into Dartmoor we embarked upon the next day. 

In silence we set off to visit a cistven, a stone row and the remains of a roundhouse. As we walked out we were met by buzzards circling above us, and a herd of wild ponies that came from over the horizon and right up to us to touch, it felt like a blessing from the animal kingdom. 

Before reaching the cistven we collected two objects from nature. The first we donated to our grandfather ancestors as each in turn we stepped up to the stone cistven playing our flute and placing the object within the stones. From their we walked down an incline in between the parallel row of stones down to a small round house at the end. There we lit a fire and gathered to place our second object to our ancestor grandmothers. We sang songs and shared stories. We sipped tea and ate chocolate before lifting ourselves to our feet and heading back to where we had came.

In the afternoon of the same day we continued our pilgrimage, this time taking solo time on the land. It was a moment to listen and make personal offerings. I wandered asking myself, how does wild land encompass our human journeys?

Ancestors

Hear this small plea

Storms are stirring bringing with them

Tumult and turmoil

I’m scared

I see fear in the eyes of others

It’s as if a Great Darkness is descending

I ask for your wisdom

I ask for your assistance

Show me where to place gentle acts of kindness.

Please send delicate parcels of inspiration

To activate hearts lain broken for too long.

Plant seeds of regeneration and healing

In places calling your names

I find myself on the edge between land and water

I yearn for the freedom of the flowing river

I yearn for the soft gentle embrace of the land

They both feel far far away

Illusive even

Ancestors teach me about freedom

The ways of the river and the land

Help me find balance

I feel lost

I ask you Ancestors

If I sit still here will the alarm call of wild birds quieten?

Life the curious Dartmoor pony

Will the woodland creatures see me and come rest by my side?

Can I slow down enough

To be in the flow of the river of life?

If I sit here tell me, will I become wrapped

In the mossy blanket of wild land dreaming?

Like ancestors before and descendants to come

Help me to keep the hearth fire burning

In welcome of passers by

Guardian Angel

Warm

Unconditional

Uncompromising

Insistent

Feed me

Feed me meat

Feed me more

On my terms

Not yours

Only you

Can do this for me

In return

I give you

My everything

My heart

My all

Feed me

Feed me meat

Feed me more

I will never leave you

My battles are my battles

Fight your own fight

And we will meet

Together at home again

To lick our wounds clean

Follow the Sun

Be guided by the Moon

Love your life

Stars foretell in ways

We both cannot fathom

And yet we each have our own star

In the sky just for us

Be alert

Strangeness can arrive at the door

At anytime

This cannot be stopped

We may walk this land each day

I go alone

Trust I will return

When I return
I will notice your movements

Mapping and Retelling World Narratives

(Notes from a short course taught by Atossa Soltani and Louis Fox at Schumacher College from 16 - 20 Nov 2015. Atossa is a rainforest activist and founder of Amazon Watch. Louis is a film-maker, producer and messenger.)

How do we tell our own indigenous story?

The Maori people have a tradition, upon meeting someone they tell them the story of their lineage. In so doing they tell you where they are from, where they are at and what their name means.

Its estimated that 4% of the worlds population is indigenous, this means living in traditional ways, and these indigenous peoples are guardians to 80% of the world's known biodiversity. If we had an aspiration to be good ancestors our world view would be very different from that put forward in the dominant paradigm of the West.

To be able to tell our stories we first needed to know where we are at - our stepping off point is what's known as the dominant paradigm, called by some the industrial growth society. This is not a palatable story for many; how might we go about changing this story? Or at least subverting it in an attempt to wake up to what is happening about us in the world today.

Some say, if we want to change the narrative we live in and to understand the source of our current challenges  go upstream of the story. If our values and cultural beliefs are not aligned then our behaviours will be off centre and out of balance. The way to intervene in the system and to change the stories and narratives we live by is to make visible the unintended consequences of these stories and to wake up to the unstated assumptions they are founded upon.

To go upstream allows us to see beyond the veil - to see beyond the visible to the invisible realms.

How do fish become aware of water?

Story-tellers seeking to tell a more balanced, kind, equal, healing and regenerative story than the one we are currently living go upstream and find the deeper need being met by dominant stories told today. By identifying and connecting to the deeper need it is possible to replace the current story with a new story that is socially and ecologically healthy and removes the toxic mimic being fed to us. By locating and naming the toxic mimics and swopping them for something healing and healthy, balanced and harmonious we slowly begin to change the world we inhabit.

It is suggested that modern life is meeting our genuine needs for safety, creativity, play, intimacy, love, friendship, food ... in unhealthy ways that often unknown to us are toxic. These toxic mimics being fed through the modern story can be changed. For example - war is a toxic mimic in response to the need for play; pornography is a toxic mimic for intimacy; social media is a toxic mimic for meeting with friends around a fire. Toxic mimics become addictive, we keep going back to them for more because they don't fulfil our need quite as we want them to.  Thus creating an emptiness due to the unmet need.

As story tellers, educators and activists we can help people find the true nourishment they are seeking rather than the toxic mimic being sold to them. First by helping people to identify the true need behind the surface story or behaviours they are acting out and then to create stories by which they can better and more truly meet their need in a regenerative way.

Language, vocabulary, culture, story are so important in framing the world we live in. They can all be changed to better match the world we want to participate in and be a part of shaping and influencing. What we think, say and do matters.

Hot Practice

Beat -
Fast, energetic, angry
Beat -
Loud, very loud, at the top of my voice, being heard
Beat -
Energy rising, heart thumping, first pumping energy
Beat -
In Your Face! Fast, and now I'm in the flow of my body
What have I been repressing?
No! No! No!
This is not okay
Aaarrrghhh
Beat -
A release, an aching body, exhaustion, aching heat
Misunderstood, unheard
Fuck Off
Fuck off all of you
Make the pain stop and go away
Beat -
Tear stained anger spilling from my body, set free
Beat -
It's okay to be loud
Turn up the volume
Push back, no more, let the anger flow
Release the dam
Move on
Unleashed, untethered again
Beat -
Don't hang back or hold on
Beat -
Feel the emptying out, no doubt
raw and uncut
Beat -
I'm done.

Now Is The Time

Meanwhile ...
The Digital Age brings its binary logic.
The chattering 1's and 2's gossip their news.
Whilst ...
Nearby on the edge of the woods
A fallow Dear grazes.
The sun quietly slips below the hillside.
Mist descends blurring visions,
Allowing twilight magic to happen.
Moon beams.
   Stars shine.
1's and 2's cease their chatter.
Off the breeze comes a song few hear.
Even fewer sing.
A song of such utmost beauty
Flowers drop their heads in praise,
Foxes hush their cries and
Crow for one brief moment sheds a tear of remembrance.
It's there, in this song that wedding vows are truly made.
Tongues speak their ancient language
We all once knew and our hearts quench.
In this song,
   In this profoundest of loves,
The alchemical wedding is found.
Walk the edges and you to may hear the song
And stumble upon the wedding feast.
If you do, be sure to eat and drink your fill.

Be Like a Tree

Having a 13 week old son is not conducive to blogging.

There simply is no way around that.

Just before Oliver was born I read Philip Pullman's 'The Good Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ'. It's a book that was gifted and not necessarily a title I would have naturally purchased myself. Whilst reading the book I discovered it was part of the Myths Series. These are well known stories reauthorised to retell a myth in a contemporary and memorable way. I have read many other titles in the myth series as I am fascinated by the subject of Myth in our lives. I was surprised to find the story of the New Testament included in the series. Knowing that 'Myth' is the context of the book made reading Philip Pullman's version that much more interesting for me.

And let's face it the lead up to Christmas is also quite an appropriate time to read such a book, as would Easter, both being key Christian times of the year.

Towards the end of the book there is a section which really landed with me and has stayed with me ever since. These are words that stirred up my thoughts and I have returned to reread them a few times since finishing the book.

"Jesus went across the valley to a garden the slopes of the Mount of Olives ... [he] went apart a little way and knelt down. 

'You're not listening', he whispered. 'I've been speaking to you all my life and all I've heard back is silence.'

'Lord, if I thought you were listening, I'd pray for this above all: that any church set up in your name should remain poor, and powerless, and modest. That it should yield no authority except that of love. That it should never cast anyone out. That it should own no property and make no laws. That it should not condemn, but only forgive. That it should be not like a palace with marble walls and polished floors, and guards standing at the door, but like a tree with it's roots deep in the soil, that shelters every kind of bird and beast and gives blossom in the spring and shade in the hot sun and fruit in the season, and in time give up its good sound wood for the carpenter, but that sheds many thousands of seeds so that new trees can grow in its place. Does the tree say to the sparrow "Get out you don't belong here?" Does the tree say to the hungry man "This fruit is not for you?" Does the tree test the loyalty of the beast before it allows them into the shade?

This is all I can do now, whisper into the silence. How much longer will I even feel like doing that? You're not there. You've never heard me. I'd do better to talk to a tree, to talk to a dog, an owl, a little grasshopper. They'll always be there. I'm with the fool in the psalm. You thought we could get on without you; no - you didn't care whether we got on without you or not. You just got up and left. So that's what we're doing, we're getting on. I'm part of the world, and I love every grain of sand and blade of grass and drop of blood in it. There might as well not be anything else, because these things are enough to gladden the heart and calm the spirit; and we know they delight the body. Body and spirit ... is there a difference? Where does one end and the other begin? Aren't they the same?*

*Excerpt from pages 192 - 200.

It feels to me these words resonate with the premise that as humans we are spiritual beings all of one consciousness having a human experience. The individual part of ourselves is the ego that is more focused on our separateness and all that comes with that; competition, fear, violence, greed, power over others, othering etc. The more transcendental part of ourselves recognises that everything is connected to everything else. In that way what we do to 'others' if there was such a thing is what we do to ourselves, because fundamentally there is no difference. Life is life. Love is love. Life is love. Anything else results in suffering.

Indigenous in Devon

Can some one born and educated in a modern privileged western country be indigenous? Is it possible to reclaim relatedness to our ancestors and connectedness to the places in which we live? If so, how do we go about it? This is a search I have embarked during the autumn of 2015. It is possibly to soon to emphatically respond to these questions. Having been somewhat 'foie grased' with ceremony, ritual, story, sacred experiences, practical skills and much more I can't even begin to put into words how I am feeling or if I have become indigenous. My body/mind/sense are full to the brim. My mind is swirling with experiences, memories and information. It takes time for all of this to settle. Spirits and ancestors have been invoked at such an intensity I do not yet know what the effect will be on them or me. I am told our ancestors are always nearby and wanting, nee extremely willing to help. To be initiated we need to ask the ancestors for their advise, help and support or even give them out worries, problems and woes when they become to big or heavy to carry.

I have set up alters,
I have made offerings,
smoked a peace pipe,
been smudged,
smudged others,
been steamed,
made offerings to the elements of fire, water, earth and air,
I have called out for a vision,
I have called in the four directions,
I have prayed and patled,
I have sung and danced a lot,
I have walked, pilgrimaged and vigiled,
I have spoken to the one legged, winged and four legged,
I have shed tears, shouted and screamed,
I WANT MY LIFE!
I have made sacred instruments,
I have been blessed and made blessings,
And I have sat in circle endlessly.

I am aware that my life is constantly in ceremony.
Everything is sacred.
Life is at the centre of all things.

Where do I go from here?
I have to embody and live this way of being for myself
And for my family, friends and community.
It starts with honouring the new moon and the full moon.
It is followed by seeing in the solstices and equinoxes.
I will practice ceremony at key moments, such as the birth of our son.
I will seek to visit the sacred sites near to me.
I will develop my ability to listen deeply to the land, the ancestors, the elements.
I will find my activism, my gift back to my people.
And I will develop my crafting.
I will honour and open up simple circles for others.

If this is not becoming indigenous I don't know what is.
I feel it is less a destination and more a conversation.
Once opened my commitment is to show up, nurture and continue.
That is the relatedness, the connection and the relationship
with everything, with life that nourishes me and
My hope and wish is it also nourishes all of life in return.
This is a radical and regenerative act.
And in time, if it is meant to be,
I may become a river to my people.
Then I would feel truly indigenous and wild again.
Woven back into my lineage and the land upon which I live.

Sacred Feminine and Masculine

On the becoming indigenous programme the subject of the sacred feminine and masculine showed up multiple times in one form or another. The masculine and feminine dynamic is a central theme of many peoples lives. In the modern world hierarchy and patriarchy are defining forces a fault line if you will that runs through many cultures. The inequality, division and misunderstanding that springs from these forces can be a powerful trigger. In the context of indigeneity comparisons of how more traditional peoples relate the masculine and feminine in their cultures has proved an interesting inquiry.

A caveat before I go further. It is too simplistic to equate the sacred masculine and feminine with physical gender. In my view conversations on this subject can too easily slip into this frame and in our group that also happened on occasion. Nevertheless, the marriage or balance between these two dominant archetypes is a significant defining motif of our times and worthy of much reflection and transformation. For me I try to remember that both archetypes live in me. To other is not helpful.

Bayo Akomalfe spoke about everything being entangled, nothing needs fixing. There is too much emphasis on othering. It is too simplistic to externalise the imbalance, wound or issue outside of oneself. Thus bringing the binary into focus, the separation between masculine and feminine qualities, characteristics or features then becomes ever more real. One being stronger, better, more powerful, effective and in control than the other. When the tensions, mystery, awkwardness are present - what do we do then? Bayo invites in this edge, let's the tensions dwell and move amongst us, he engages it and listens deeply. This does not imply fixing or solving. Instead it suggested seeing, revealing, recognising and acknowledging. It's in the paradox of simultaneously holding opposites, such as the sacred masculine and feminine, that something new can emerge. It need not be a battle or a contest. No winner is required.

Charles Eisenstein put forward the idea that to heal ourselves we also need to heal the other. What this represents is a new unifying story for health, for economics, for life itself. Charles brings in the paradigm of the gift. Can we drop the binary of masculine and feminine? This is very controversial because so much trauma lies underneath these archetypes. Mutuality needs to breathe. What is being grieved when the relationship between the masculine and feminine appears in the room? What can and needs to be praised also?

Loretta Afraid of Bear suggested the feminine needs new forms to witness and to speak into. Remember there is no other, there is no outside. There is no them and us. Notice all the compassion and beauty around. Notice your own patterns when triggered. What emotions show up? Can this emotional response be expanded into compassion? What is wanting to hide, to be unseen? With Loretta we are back to grief and praise.

Mac Macartney shared that the ancient stone circles that are dotted around the British Isles are a reminder of times gone by where peoples practice ceremonies to awaken the dragon. The circles representing the eye of the dragon opening and waking up again. The legend of George slaying the dragon some believe is a reference to the goddess being subdued and defeated. From that moment god cultures became dominant. And now we live through times when goddess energies need to be woken placed alongside god energies.

Balance as Martin Shaw might say, 'comes when the king and queen marry the  land'. What this implies is restoring balance so each of us can become a the river to our people and land becomes fertile and regenerative. When the sacred feminine and masculine are aligned and in deep relationship with one another no one dominants the other. They both shine in their own beauty.

I find it very difficult to do this subject any kind of true justice. It is stark and subtle all at the same time. This theme has streaked through history, culture and day-to-day life for thousands of years. The relationship between masculine and feminine is unlikely to shift over-night, or will it? Who knows? What is known is the subjugation of the goddess, the sacred feminine, has been happening for thousands of years and yet there is evidence that it was not always like this. The impact of this denial, power over of the feminine, has detrimental and harmful effects on everyone and everything. Maybe at the heart of the dis-ease many people, more than human beings and the planet experiences' lies this imbalance between these two primal qualities.

Sundance - Ceremony and Ritual

(Notes from a one week course taught at Schumacher College from 9 - 13 Nov 2015, teachers Loretta Afraid of Bear, Linda Delorimer and Tim 'Mac' Macartney.)

Ceremony and Ritual
We are always in ceremony. Life is a ceremony. The ancestors are around and they are listening. They want to help us, if only we would to ask. Nothing about ceremony is a contest. Be prepared each day of your life to get involved and to be challenged. As in life, ceremony has beautiful aspects and hard aspects. You don't have to make excuses for anything. You are part of the ceremony whether you go inside the inipi (Sweat Lodge) or not.

The first grandfather was rock. In the beginning there were four gods - Sun, Air, Earth, Rock - in the four directions. This is known as four to the fourth power. The rock grandfathers know everything. If you are in a place of huge challenge you can say to them, 'It is too hard for me, I am going to give this pain, question, issue back to you because I do not know what to do with it.' Our time on Earth is short. Make this time count. Feed the grandfathers in ceremony. Ask the grandfathers for help and healing. Take care of yourselves in this most critical and challenging of times, where many are governed by convenience and commerce and not those activities that are regenerate and life bringing. Be humble and respectful of the natural ways. YOU can make things happen. The holiest time is between 1.30 - 3.00am in the morning. It is the most holiest and magical time for an inipi.

In 1883 native peoples in North America were prevented by law to practise their ceremonies. This pushed these ways underground until the law was relaxed in 1978 and repealed in 1994. It has only been 21 years that Inipi and other ceremonies life the Sundance have been legally and openly practised again.

There are certain times in the year to observe sacred practises. These are similar if not the same for all indigenous traditional peoples. Such as, new moon and full moon, or the solstices' and equinoxes. The purpose of the Inipi at 1am is to activate our dreams. Woman on their moon do not enter the lodge because they are already in a powerful and activated state. We all gather the following morning and share our dreams.

Lakota/Oglala Creation Story
Indigenous peoples often practise an oral tradition in the telling of stories and history. Loretta Afraid of Bear comes from a long lineage of ancestors who do just the same when telling their creation story. So it was for us on the first evening, we sat and heard the story to begin all stories.

We call the Creator, movement. That movement brought about where we are today. We are all star people. Women bring everything. Women bring life. Women are the co-creators. It is important to be in sync with spirit. Put spirit first. Place life at the centre. Every action has consequences. There are no rules and yet we seek balance and to bring balance back.

Take care of family. Take care of the old people. Take care of the children.

There is a spiritual connection to bring us in sync. We don't have hierarchy. Women own everything. There's a balance that comes with that. Every race has original instruction. Native Americans have their instructions. Do the indigenous peoples of the British Isles have a memory of their instructions?

People are going to start waking up. Who is responsible for taking care of the Earth? The Lakota people say that in the mountains of Asia and Africa some of this knowledge is being kept.

White Buffalo Calf Woman brought Lakota the sacred pipe. She was black, red, yellow and then finally white. First came the black people in the west, then the red people in the north, followed by the yellow people in the east and finally the white people in the south. The common thread between them all is spirituality. What is it within our spirituality's that we can all link together?

There is a place where we all are the same colour, we are one race, the human race, and our palms remind us we are one, as all palms no matter what your heritage are the same colour. This is a powerful way to be reminded of our commonality. This also links us back to Pat McCabe and the five fingered ones, as the human race is known. By showing our palms we are all one.

Let's Dream
When in ceremony it is important to be attentive to everything going on around you. The next morning after the Inipi we sat in circle and shared our experiences of our night and day dreams. Two different themes arose from the group sharing. The first was 'Water', which appeared strongly in three people's dreams. It was suggested they walk to the river Dart near by and bring water back to our alter for us to be humble before. The second theme was the sacred feminine and masculine. Again this dynamic came up in many sharings that day.

We were reminded that transformation is hard. That we are going to feel things strongly and yet not to be sombre about it. Life, the work, ceremony is all about relationship. It's about building relationship. This is the cosmic flow and we don't want to interrupt the movement.

During ceremony, particularly Sundance, the highest offering we can make to Spirit is our flesh. Woman give from the top of their arms. Men from their chests. When you are making a decision your body knows the answer. The giving of blood and flesh is particular to Sundance. In the UK, Martin Shaw strongly recommends not to cut flesh or give blood as it communicates to the spirits in a way we may not wish to encounter. Menstrual blood giving is a different matter again. When in ceremony everything is in conversation. Be attentive. Listen. And most of all be kind.

The Lakota have seven sacred ceremonies.

• Keeping the Soul
• Sweat Lodge - Inipi
• Vision Quest
• Sun Dance
• Making Relatives
• Puberty Ceremony
• Throwing of the Ball

We stand in sacred space all the time. The idea is when in sacred space we all hold one another and we move about with complete freedom. This is how it should be. The themes that arise within the group during ceremony alert us to where our fears are and what is open to transformation. It is the twin path. The intertwining of the practical, down to earth and grounded part of life with the loftier spiritual, imaginal and invisible part of life. Where the profane and the sacred meet. We are all walking the twin path, each of us finding our own balance and relationship between the two aspects of life. When in ceremony the spirits teach us songs and provide us with other messages to bring back to our communities, to our village. Remember ultimately there is nothing to fear in our world, not even death.

Inipi - The Sweat Lodge
I    - you
Ni - energy inside our bodies
Pi  - all of us together as one

Our bodies do not forget how to heal themselves. Inside the inipi what one person feels we all feel. Our ni recognises each others ni. When someone has stress or fear we can smell it. Don't feed the negative energy by saying bad things. When things are 'outwards', negative or out of balance it is not so much what happens as how we respond to what happens. We have to help one another. Healing, ceremonies and rituals are coming together. The Lakota do not have a word for compromise. To find balance does not mean giving up your values, your needs or your alignment. Duality and wholeness co-exist. That is the way. That is the twin path. And that is paradox. It all comes together by being in relationship. Participating in the whole. Bringing what you bring and contributing this to your community. It is about seeking to listen to the whole and by being good to one another.

Overwhelm, Discomfort and Pain
The ancestors are waiting for us to let them help us. They are always there, ready and willing. We are being asked to lean in to the void, to the abyss, to our fears, discomforts and pain. It can be overwhelming. It can be a barrage of feelings, memories, images, nightmares and all kind of difficulties and challenges. Remember it is ok. Our mind creates the abyss and our hearts cross it. The way through is to feel it all and be with it. Listen to the message trying to be heard. What is the truth wanting to be spoken. The river beneath the river.

Discomfort and pain is a hard place to inhabit. Native people have been through excruciating challenges from previous attempts at genocide and removal from their land, sacred sites and ceremonies. This is on-going. Native peoples understand the discomfort.

Indigenous peoples ask in such times: what is available? are all the elements of earth, air, water and fire in play? Go to safe and holy places. When you feel unseen go to places where you feel witnessed.  Ask, what are the protocols? what is allowable? What allows this sacred space? What do you want to bring into it? Ask your elders for permission to do this? Ask, what are you trying to get out of this? What is it you need to receive from the ceremony? Is it a guidebook, teachings or witnessing. And finally ask yourself, how will this be good for my people? If you can answer these questions you will have something tangible.

Elders are the wisdom keepers of tradition.
Children are the future.
Adults are the bridge.

On the twin path it is essential to attend to both strands - the practical/domestic and the holy/sacred. I commit to attending to craft and using my hands to make things in 2016. I commit to learning sacred song, playing my drum, journeying in pilgrimage the sacred sites of the British Isles and to being in circle.

Shadow Work I

Shadow work.

The storms have been rolling in.
Wind and rain flexing their muscles
Reminding me who's the boss.
Some call it destruction
Others say it's clearance,
Which ever way it's change.

When I spend too long in a place 

Where my shadow is not acknowledged or given space. 

My warrior will eventually show up. 

My warrior has arrived.

And she is guarding the door to my soul.

Protecting me.

I've been feeling provoked, prodded and goaded
Misjudged and out of sorts. 

That's my story.
What's yours?

I need to speak my truth.

That's hard to do when hurt, judged or overwhelmed.

That's hard to do when my shadow is not welcomed.

It's not safe.

Anger is activating.

Anger makes me aware of what's not ok.

Anger makes me attend to the shit going on.

Anger protects me and guards my boundaries.

Anger says STOP!

Anger says no.

Anger protects and empowers me to act.

Anger is my activism.

Anger needs to move, like the wind.

Anger needs a voice, it needs to go some place.

Anger needs to be heard.

Anger is not to be held onto or stored.

Anger needs to flow like tears.

My anger needs to get up, bellow and go.

So I can show,

My vulnerability.

When anger can pass through

I can let go and breathe again
Unfettered and
Free

Five Fingered Ones - Many Ways of Knowing

Five Fingered Ones
In North America the native peoples have a cosmology that includes their medicine wheel. Life is placed at the centre and all decisions are passed through the wheel. If an action or decision does not bring life it does not fit their cosmology.

Woman Stands Shining - Pat McCabe - our visiting teacher (Schumacher College, 26 October - 6 November 2015) was born into the Dine Nation and adopted by Lakota Nation. Pat said to us; 

You were born into beauty

As Beauty

For a joyful life

That is the truth

You have got to

Have the eyes to see it.

The five-fingered ones - human beings - are shifting the components of life in a way that we must heed what we are doing. We are wounding each other through our differences. Separation has to end. The Wiwa people's say these actions could never have happening in the world if they did not first start in our hearts. Some say the masculine energy within us is attempting to over power the feminine energy. The masculine spirit and feminine soul need to come back into balance. The womb of the woman is for some related to the womb of the cosmos. Nothing new is going to happen, no new creation will be birthed until the polarities of masculine and feminine are aligned, healed and reconciled. We have to make a radical new choice collectively as a global human community and run like hell for leather with this new third way.

We need to become indigenous to Mother Earth. This is what it means to place life at the centre. That is a challenge for everybody in the hoop of life. The hoop of life is comprised of every single member of the living community. The integrity of the hoop is being tested. We need to start tending and mending the hoop of life.

We are at a crossroads

Ask yourself - do you want your life?

Reclaim your life.

Proclaim to all, shout it like you mean it;

I WANT MY LIFE

Ask yourself, what amazing thing is going to happen today?

Ask yourself, what sacred practice did your peoples use to connect themselves to life?

No one is a mistake

No one is without purpose

Spirit will tell you where and who you are

Paradoxically our intellects will not

It is like expecting one key to open every door

The five fingered ones have fallen asleep

We need to remember

We need to awaken

The plan is Life

Place life at the centre

It's real simple

Life makes life

There are many ways to the bottom of the valley

There is more than one trail

Know the trail where you live

You've got to want your life

I can't tell you what's up in your land

Most people die at 25 and get buried at 75

Not me and not you!

Indigenous practice removes the vail

They lift the enchantment

It is said, Coyote threw the gossamer vail

Over the heads of men to bring despair

Coyote expected us to brush off the vail

But we didn't

Now Coyote is working out how to remove the vail.

Many Ways of Knowing
As the five-fingered ones we have more than one way to meet the world we live in. This broad spectrum of ways of knowing is a the hallmark of indigeny. Indigenous people have learnt and know how to live in a balanced and harmonious way in one place. They have done so for thousands of years in some places. To create a relationship with a place you have got to have a means of communicating two ways. Firstly each person has to proclaim themselves. You have to want your life and say so with vitality and meaning. We each have a name by which the spirits know us. The spirits can't do jack until you ask. Give it a go. Interactive with life. But remember do not quest for a vision unless you mean it.

Indigenous ways require a commitment and a discipline to place yourself before the truth frequently. This can be done using many different methods.
Meditation being one
Create an alter or sacred space inside and outside
Rest your body
Rest your mind
Be conscious of what you feed yourself with stories, books, videos, media, movies
Spend time in nature
Be in circle
Have buddies, a tribe, a clan that is interdependent to one another
Pay attention and observe what's happening around you
Intentionally step away from human systems (cities, technology, machines, ideas)
Slowdown
Find ritual and ceremonies for this moments in life
That you want to acknowledge and observe
Grieve and Praise

For example, when you arrive somewhere new, call out and tell the place of your arrival, lay down offerings, such as tobacco, fruit, nuts. Mother Earths trying to call her children home. Arrival rituals pay respect to this calling.

The land in the UK is very lively. The ancestors speak of a history between Mother Earth and the five fingered ones. Mother earth remembers this lineage. The Uk is like an enormous Oak tree that grew over time to be so big full of ceremonies. There came a moment when the Oak tree was cut and hidden. Now what remains are the roots from this old Oak tree and the roots are still there waiting for us to connect back to them again.

We need remember that we each have a divine connection within us that cannot be effected by anything or anyone, including ourselves. When we get off track and out of alignment we are brought back to the hogan, to the womb and the songs are sung to us again so that original beauty can return. Balance and harmony are reconstituted.

Remember it is all choice and free will. No one or no-thing can make you do anything you do not willing want to do. As we move into a deeper into the surrender our frequency changes. Interactions with the natural world recognise our depth of practice. Why surrender? Our minds make a problem out of everything and seek to come up with solutions. We get enraptured by stories of fame and riches. The thriving life way does not focus on what's in it for me mentality, the take approach to life because in the thriving life way the intention is We. This is referred to as the move from ego to eco.

Becoming Indigenous
There are some who will scoff at the idea of 'becoming indigenous' and others will deride the idea of creating a learning programme with this title. You will find some arguing for non-indigenous to be in one place and to leave the indigenous peoples alone. For white folks 'becoming indigenous' is radical and as a programme title it is controversial. As Colin Campbell would say it has heat from the conflict, but heat need not be a bad thing. Pat McCabe reminded us that it is everyones birth right to have a relationship with Mother Earth. No one has the right to get in-between you and that. Loretta Afraid of Bear looked into the eyes of each one of us and said, 'You are Indigenous'. Irrespective of the division there are Indigenous Medicine peoples willing to enter a conversation on 'Becoming Indigenous' and defend every persons right to seek this relatedness to land and ancestors.

Cultural appropriation, toxic mimics and  inauthenticity are a whole other conversation. One that is necessary and valid but not to be conflated with someone's ability, willingness or birth right to rebuild and connect to their land and peoples.

When we don't put life at the centre and when we cannot sit in the mystery we resort to something else. That something else is conformity so as to avoid the discomfort. The challenge is not to be drawn into the binary. Hold the paradox. wait to see what can then emerge within the paradoxical space.

In the divergence and controversy around 'Becoming Indigenous' hold both the favourable and supportive views alongside those less supportive and encouraging.Acknowledge the extremes and polarities present. The paradox is to honour the diversity without deferring and allowing separation to occur. Stay connected, stay in the circle, keep the hoop strong. No one life form is more special or more important than another. All life is needed to ensure the hoop is intact, in health and in strength.

Navigating the territory

Getting lost is admirable. Feeling lost is uncomfortable. Banging into and up against unknown forces can be painful. I pick myself up shaken and bruised and retreat to care for myself and my words. 'What happened there?', I ask myself. 'Who knows and yet stay true and follow your own star home, not someone else's.'

Navigating the tracks requires diligence, discipline and dedication.

The cycle between violence and beauty, happiness and suffering, between grief and praise is going strong. The call for another story is ringing loud in my ears. Tears, many tears are being shed. Blood is flowing. Explosions, bombs, violence continues to rain. Unintended consequences are being felt and reverberating through the ether. Is this the way it will be ... Que Sera Sera? When misplaced nationalism soars will our stadiums, schools and churches resound to the words of William Blake, 'I will not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword sleep'.

I feel fog descending around me
Clouding the scene
I'm lost
No longer knowing anything
Am I alone?
Is anyone out there?

A good friend tells me this is a neptune moment.
Enter the transcendent 'bird' third.

I feel the potential of a fresh breeze sweep through me offering a break in the fog and an opening to follow. I stand at the meeting point. The place where paradox dwells. The tension of holding opposites can be unbearable and yet if I hold the polarities long enough can there be a breakthrough? The bird third that transcends us from the tension towards something new.

The planet neptune was discovered in 1846. Let's be clear here, Neptune has always been there. The difference to those shaped by modernity is that something does not appear and exist until it is seen and named. So it was for Neptune in 1846. And now our astrologers incorporating this planet into our consciousness say Neptune, my gift du jour, represents 'dreams, illusion, abstract thought and the mysterious. Spirituality is important to this planet, and how we harness that energy for our personal betterment. Neptune invites us to let its energy wash over us and to use a meditative state to gain insights and heightened awareness. Poetry, music and dance are among the trance-like activities which this planet favours.'

As I am bounced and battered by events and forces Neptune visits me inn the guise of a William Stafford poem and the healing balm of a peace Mantra - Sarvesham Svastir Bhavatu.

I am grateful to Robert Bly for bringing the words of William Stafford to my door. I feel the energy and presence of raven; the darkness around us is deep my friend.

If you don't know the kind of person I am
and I don't know the kind of person you are
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world
and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.

For there is many a small betrayal in the mind,
a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break
sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood
storming out to play through the broken dyke.

And as elephants parade holding each elephant's tail,
but if one wanders the circus won't find the park,
I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty
to know what occurs but not recognize the fact.

And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,
a remote important region in all who talk:
though we could fool each other, we should consider--
lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.

For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give--yes or no, or maybe--
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.

 William Staffords poem it titled 'A Ritual To Read To Each Other'. It could be these words are intended to be read between two or more people. Or it could mean to be read to the different parts of oneself, or even between you and a more than human being. It's in the in between places that differences can be most felt and the thread that connects all things can be seen. This connection is spoken about by many of the mystical poets. It's the invisible relational line that flows between everything ultimately rendering us inseparable, lest we forget, it's important that awake people be awake.

Bringing Health Down to Earth

(Notes from a short course at Schumacher College 19 - 23 October 2015 with Bayo Akomalafe and EJ Clement-Akomalafe)

Many of us have lost touch with our bodies. Our physical bodies have become distant to us. There was a time when I was like this, when I was a head disconnected from the intelligence of my body. My mind can lie to me, my body never lies. If only I can listen.

What happens when we choose to open ourselves up again to all that our bodies offer and say to us? What happens when we choose to open ourselves up to the aliveness of the universe?

These questions invite us to rethink our relationship to sickness and health. We have always had access to the indigenous knowledge our physical bodies and our relationship to the bigger body (life) has to offer, but for too long we have been ignoring it. Now we have to find our way back. Counter intuitively in this moment the more we get lost the more we find our way.

Eco-metaphysically we need to re-energise what health means to us.

Unlike how socially we are cultured to behave, grief and suffering are not a private matter. They are a public event. Grief is not the enemy to be repressed. Pain is not to be stamped out or medicated away as is the mode of much of allopathic medicine. Wherever you are is the most sacred place you can be.

There is no outside.
There is no sacred mountain you have to climb.
How can we reimagine and come back into relationship with the multiple?
Life is an entire ecosystem of which we are a part.
It is all intra-active.
By slowing down, deeply listening and observing we can reconfigure our gaze.
It is not about solutions.
There is only an openness and awareness.
In the noticing we are losing our 'I' ness.
The universe is much more playful that we believe.
In a world that is entangled there is no outside.
Everything is connected to everything else.
Everything is dancing with everything else.
Let's throw a better party.
Let's reveal our own innate wisdom.
And come up with our own meanings of health.
Thus we lose the story that we are singular.
A full picture is not possible.
We lose ourselves into groundlessness.
There is beauty in incompleteness.
Where we reach a point of unsayability we reach the point of vulnerability.
We meet our bodies at the inaudible gasp.
Move away from predetermined grace.
AWKWARD IS BEAUTIFUL
At our height of confusion is when we have it all together.

Quilting is the shared collective of everyones listening.

Quilting Prompt 1: What is the living story of your body?

The unsayable wants to be known, it was to be seen and heard.
Our lives are becoming entangled with one another.
We are being provoked to make space for something else.
What wants to happen cannot be represented in words in the first instance.
Our bodies are speaking for us at this moment.

The Bones of Ritual

(Notes from a short course taught by Colin Campbell and Lucy Hinton at Schumacher College from 28 September - 2 October 2015)

Kabir said at the core of every human is a yearning to return to divine grace within ourselves. This homecoming it at the heart of ritual, ceremonial practices and cosmologies. There are techniques that are designed to open up a portal for us to make this journey to to return to our hearts. A vigil - going into the wilderness in a vulnerable way is one such practice. Strength is found in vulnerability.

Martin Shaw refers to the ecstatic moment when the wild begins to infuse us as wild land dreaming. When we enter the woods we enter the dream tangle. Stay there long enough, some say at least 3 days is needed without food and shelter,and we can drop the conditions of modern life and allow ourselves to be reordered internally. We may at this point get dreamt by the land. Elders remind us how important it is to commune with the wild. If we try to avoid, deny or overcoming nature we are in big trouble.

A vigil is an opportunity to call back and remember the exiled parts of ourselves. From the moment of severance when we are smudged out each of us steps into a threshold moment. Intent is essential as it sets us up for a conscious act with symbolism behind it. Ritual is a conscious act which contains the intention to form a bridge between the visible and invisible. In so doing we are enacting an ancient and sacred reciprocity.

Indigenous people place life at the centre. They say all life has it's own special consciousness. In this way the divine, the universe, knows itself through each form of consciousness coming into being. In Southern Africa during traditional times if you wanted to understand the psyche of a human you had to wander out into the wilderness. Everything contained in the wild is incorporated in the cosmology. Human behaviour is a mimic of the wild.   

On vigil we offer our lives to be eaten. To be eaten by the cold, the dark, the midges, our fears and our discomforts. The reward is the belonging. The commitment of offering ourselves up to everything brings it's own reward. A vigil is not a place to prove anything to anyone including ourselves. On vigil we place ourselves in a state of deep prayer or communion. There is no need to go far. No one is being asked to go beyond the bounds of their own capacities. Each person goes out in a state of giving. Give up all your comforts and distractions. The key to vigil is our stance. 

• Take a clear intention - deep presence and authenticity - state your intent or question.
• Find a threshold - to cross into sacred space place two sticks, stones or make a circle. Be smudged as a cleansing and as a blessing - and then step out.
• Observe the three taboos - no food, no shelter and no company.
• Experiment with suspending disbelief. Remarkable things can happen, follow what needs to be followed, listen to your intuition.
• Return back across the threshold.
• Tell your story and have it mirrored back to you.

Final Bones Reading by Colin Campbell (3 October 2015)

     

1. Chaos - wait - things are brewing. 

Dynamic waiting

Like Vigil

Be present

We feel all over the place

Discombobulated

Things are happenings

Wait

Watch

Seeds are being planted

How long?

Be n a stance f receptive presence

We don't know how long

We have activated a lot

Let it be

Let it settle

For at least the next week avoid making any major decisions

Nurture yourself

Take time out if you can

Focus on being rather than doing

What is really important?

Don't put an action plan together.

Ask - I Where is meaning?

How can orientate myself to that?

How can I orientate myself to who I am?

      2. Blue Crane - crane with 2 tics

Warning - be careful of careless action

Inaction is better than action

Waiting and stillness is better than moving

Stance of stillness and presence

REST

You have already found what you seek

TRUST

Between times

Liminal and chaotic

It doesn't seem to have form and yet the imaginal cells exist

2 = conflict

3 = resolution

Transcendent moment

A third element is needed for the trinity