Assumptions

It's come to my attention (aka stark staring me in the face obvious!) that I make too many assumptions. In any given day I possibly make about a gzillion assumptions, which it is slowly dawning on me is a gzillion to many. Why, you maybe asking yourself? Well I have given this much thought and come to the conclusion that it is because amongst the many amazing happenings taking place in my brain at any given moment, the part that produces assumptions - the frontal zonal precortial thingumyjig - is a little like the appendix. It's like the appendix in that we have no idea evolutionarily why we have this part of the brain that makes assumptions. You see making assumptions is pretty much redundant because they invariably are WRONG and lead to BIG MISUNDERSTANDINGS. Assumptions are a fast track to TROUBLE CITY. In fact assumptions should come with a government health warning, like the kind you get on a packet of cigarettes.

ASSUMPTIONS CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH !!!

PASSIVE ASSUMPTIONS CAN KILL !!!

Ok, maybe that last one is a little strong, but you get the point I'm making here. Like your appendix the only time you know you've got one is when it grumbles and sometimes has to be taken out! Very painful. Try having your frontal zonal precortial thingumyjig removed, let me tell you it's not nice. Maybe that's why we continue to make assumptions and put up with the consequential chaos, because the price for removing the said part of the brain that produces assumptions is to high.

In that case let's outlaw assumptions. All we would need is a private members bill to pass through the Houses of Parliament and hey presto assumptions are banned, it's the law. Politics could become interesting and relevant for once. Or am I making another assumption?

I need saving from myself?

Another assumption ... please make it stop.