To Lower The Bar or Not To Lower The Bar

One of my teachers starts morning sessions with the five minute poem. After listening to some inspiring poems we are invited to simply write. What comes from these five minutes is often jaw droppingly incredible. And yet as Martin will say to help those of us nervous to share our scribbles, 'let's lower the bar'. There is a celebration in the poems we offer to the group being awkward, bad or at best just terrible. It's not about the quality of the writing. It is about the act of writing itself. How refreshing and human to allow a welcome space for everything to be ok.

Martin is want to share the story of William Stafford who when asked how does he write such amazing poetry, answers write everyday and lower your expectations.

It's like people who daily vlog on youtube, when you can filter and edit what people see there is the tendency to control and show only the good stuff in their lives, or at least not reveal anything you don't want others to see. Poets publish what they want you to read. We don't see the writing or editing process. Nor do we see those poems that remain in the locked study room draw.

I have decided to let myself off the hook, lower the bar and just write my blog and hit the publish button - come what may. My hope is that at some point in the future with lots of writing experience under my belt combined with a reduction in self consciousness, that my writing will become much closer to what it is I am trying to express.

I have noticed that when I try too hard or push too much my writing is awkward and clunky. Automatic writing still contains a lot of random stuff and to be honest dross, but maybe there will be the occasional sentence or two that I am proud of.

Let's see ...

Presence in 2017

The word presence means 'to exist in a place'. It is the art of being. Not so much about the past or the future, but of the moment. My interest in presence has been sparked by a quote from the phenomenologist Merleau-Ponty. He suggests that consciousness 'does not give me truth like geometry but presences' [quoted in Stang, 2009). Is this saying, I wonder, that consciousness gives us experiences;  such that awareness comes in a form of presences?

In our world where science is the dominant philosophy facts and truth are objectively trusted and what's more valued above qualities of feeling, imagination and intuition. This can place personal experiences and ordinary daily life into a lowly category. If you imagine most if not nearly all people live in the everyday no wonder self esteem and wellbeing is taking a hammering in our modern life.

Presence invites a different stance if you will. It asks us to become open and aware to our experiences. All of our experiences, the explained and the unexplained. To value the ordinary in our lives. Doing the daily chores. Waking up to a brand new day. Reaching out the simple hand of friendship to those in need. Attending to the school run, the shopping, or the journey home from work. Knocking on the door of our neighbours to check-in.

In the race to the top of an invisible (arguably nonexistent) ladder how often do we stop to take in the awe of the beauty around us? The enjoyment in making a simple meal for our family and friends. Going for a walk to the nearby river where we live. Or stopping to watch the sunset.

How fantastic it is to witness and be a part of such everyday awesome experiences and not feel the need to classify them as special in order to validate ourselves or what happened.

That's my wish for 2017. To be able to take in and celebrate the ordinariness of my life. To see the gift in the everyday. And to see how that stance of being in the presence shapes and moulds my life and relationships.

It starts today on Sunday 01 January with the joy of rain. Yes rain can be enjoyed, for water is sacred, it is life itself. Without it I would not be here, nor much of anything else I can see from my window. Yet in the United Kingdom where I live rain is not always seen in this way. Water is not often scarce. If anything due to climate change water has become a powerful force resulting in seasonal flooding. However, for many in other parts of the world water is becoming increasingly hard to find. Rain is seen as the foreteller of change and a blessing to be appreciated. I am therefore fortunate today to be able to watch the water fall from the clouds above.

Prayer to the place I am of ...

A prayer to the place I am of ...

The rock rises strongly
Uncompromisingly from below
Making upward motions
Holding secrets that are whispered
Out onto the breath of winds
Carried a far to lands in distant places
The green fields line the valley
Banking up to the rivers edge
Folding into the waters
Flowing speedily by
Uncontrollable, unabashed water
Brings its life quenching message
Reminding me of what power really means
And who we should be listening to
Up on the moor
The bracken tops unfurl
Swaying in the breeze
At summers height they present
Hidden cover from the beating
Rays of the sun
Only to shrink back again
Comes winters frost
No thaw insight
Icy fingers grow along the tributaries
Falling toward the lowlands

Peacemaking

Just saying ... 

... easier said than done.
Better said than not.

Dimpsy Time

Dusk is enveloping from all around
Like a Russian Doll my body contains
The forty nine years I have loved
Each year a doll with a different face, skin and memories
Eyes look out and up into
The Patterning fingers of leaves
Each leaf a curling invitation into the cosmos
Death is calling now
Its warm bell of relief
One inevitable day to visit
Darkness falls
Flickering orange eyes of distant beasts
Are waking into the night
Be there dragons not far from here?
Stillness descends within, settling outside, to still
Until the silhouetted blacks enclose
One last time.

Ruin Nation

Why can you not see what I see?
I try to scream out
Only silence
I am here and invisible to you
In this lonely Ice Palace
When did the freeze come?

Water is everywhere
Too much water
I stop at the flooded road
Scared the waters will rise and take me
I'll be forever gone

I go alone riding the waves
Wishing you were by my side
The waters will subside, one day
The thaw will come
Will we be the same?

From Within Look Out

In the light of events this year, 2016, the view hasn't always been a pretty one. Contemplating political outcomes like Brexit and the US election can invoke a polarising response. The far right and the far left gather their troops, To some these are fantastic liberating times where the voiceless, marginalised and some might say less visible members of community feel rightly heard and others feel severed and divided from their land and feel the fear growing within.

What is happening in Standing Rock, Aleppo, Ukraine, Columbia. Brazil (the list is seemingly endless) ... shows how the human world is becoming more divided and where people are standing up for their values and beliefs.

I heard one reporter from the Wall Street Journal site a conversation with a Trump voter on election night describing the unfolding story not as a political milestone but as 'Spiritual' in its significance to them. There are voices speaking out now that are reaching deep into emotional places to let out what wants to be heard. No matter how seemingly unpalatable, politically incorrect, mislead or misjudged some may portray these utterances, what is not helpful is to continue not to listen.

Not listening only sends people and voices deeper into exile, and the deeper into exile they go the more strongly it will rebound to bite back when it does finally come around.

As I sit and look out on what is going on in 2016, the language of division grows ever more deafening. The schisms and chasms are more stark and the depth of despair widens with it. This is a very dark vantage point upon which to stand.

I choose to be part of the hoop of life, where there is a recognised place for everyone. No one being is more important than any other. Each has their role to play. In this way differences and diversity serve the richness of thriving life. In order to live well we have to learn how to get along. We have to focus on responsibilities more so than on our rights. We have an opportunity to see what brings us together more so than what drives us apart.

The richest most fertile places to be are on the edges of systems, be they biological, social, ecological, economic ... here difference and change come together and the need to adapt, shape shift and transform is at it's highest. This is where invention, innovation and creativity springs from and wells up anew to regenerate and serve life.

Now is the time to seek out the edgy places, people and beings wanting to effect change and to open up new opportunities.

Listen to the voiceless.

Life can and wants to thrive. Be in right relations. Be big hearted and respectful. Offer the hand of peace and friendship without knowing or expecting something in return. Let kindness be your watchword. Follow the river of generosity. The horizon is yet a dream away and soon to be a reality. Dream Big. Dream It All. And Dream Life.

Sitting in the discomfort

In a persons life tension, conflict, misunderstanding will eventually arrive, when added up it can amount to a tonne of suffering. For many the natural response to pain and discomfort is to move away form it, escape it, to deny its existence, to negotiate a way out of it, to project the suffering onto someone or something else; essentially to make the unpleasantness stop. If you burn your fingers who wouldn't reflexively pull away?

Here's the thing; there is much to be uncomfortable, anxious and in pain about. Besides the not insignificant abuses and fallouts felt within family and friendship circles there are the numerous events of war, injustice and abuse happening in our communities and beyond at a human and more than human level. You only have to turn on, tune in or click onto a media outlet to be streamed with news of the most heartbreaking manner.

What do we do with our powerful emotions when triggered? Is it possible to sit in the discomfort and pain and wait patiently for a shift or different story to come along? Is it even reasonable to do this? I am not advocating for harm of any kind here, self or otherwise. This is not a masochists agenda. The suggestion I am trying to make or find in these faltering words is suffering may be a portal into the mystery, the impossible, the entanglement between the stories. And in this liminal place there could be a revelation of something that before may not have been visible? In this numinosity is there something new offered up? Making the unseen seen is risky, challenging and dangerous work.

And yet that is where we find ourselves in the evolution of Gaia. Mother Earth and all of life that relies upon her for every breath and impulse of existence is standing on an epoch changing edge. Go one way and we may perish. Choose another path and we may collectively shift into a more life sustaining and thriving existence. It's as simple as that.

Birthing something new is not meant to be without struggle. It's knowing that the obstacles and pains we are going through are for an intended purpose. The lack of a thriving life intention and purpose brings about  a spiritual gap leading to the unwillingness to use conflict and struggle for the betterment of life rather than a force for retraction and destruction.

No I do not know the direction nor the outcome of this current round of suffering. What I do know is that it is helpful to observe and learn the patterns when triggered personally and collectively. To take responsibility for these patterns and to make choices that lead to thriving life. That way heart-ache can turn into heart-ease.

We live in a time of failing nations, systems and stories. There is gold to be found sitting in the dark and uncomfortable places. Don't be too hasty to leave. Know yourself and know your community and build trust.

Busyness

I feel my days have become a glorification of busy. Productivity has crept in through the door of my life and sat down in the big comfy chair. My pint glass is full to over flowing and yet the pouring continues unabashed. What is to be done?

STOP!

Simple when it is put like that.

When in a system that is moving forward, machine like in it's process, stopping does not seem so simple. The consequence effect the whole.

And yet this is another excuse as Stopping the Busy is possible when my mindset says No More.

A commitment to slowing down, smelling the roses, watching the autumn leaves change their colours and float to the floor, noticing the full moon rise, appreciating the smell of fire smoke drifting over the nearby rooftops, sending the birthday card on time, all of which can be done.

A gentle reminder of the field of possibilities and the choices I can be part of in dreaming into the more beautiful world I know is possible.

DONE!

Shadow Work II

What we see is not always what is there.

"There are no secrets, only things we don't see."
Stephen Harrod Buhner

Difference

When is a criticism or a difference of opinion NOT an attack on another person? When can we comment on what each other is doing and saying without being portrayed as an aggressor? How can we open up safe spaces for exchange, discussion, meaningful conversation, exploration, inquiry, learning without being brought down in a hale of verbal bullets, shaming or point scoring?

All these questions are occupying my mind as I am left bewildered by how politics (be it public or private, personal or supra personal) is taking shape in this binary world.

When can power be used in a shared way allowing for all perspectives and voices to be heard so it becomes power with others as opposed to power over others?

When we sit in circle and not across barriers. When we sit on the ground as equals not in heighten states of aggrandisement. When we recognise the need and importance of all living beings - then we can begin to appreciate power-with and the collective wisdom that is accessed and generated from this stance.

To hold differing opinions, to be different from others - does not need to be used as a means to attack or power over others.

Debate, conversation, discussion all involve a speaker or active agent and a listener or receptive agent and in any exchange there is flux and fluidity between the active and receptive states of being. Power can be shared.

The Pain of Separation (The Longing)

On this journey that begins with the homesickness, the hireath, the suadade, of the heart - we seek to reconnect that which feels separated within us. Upon reconnecting we see the separation was always an illusion.  

Some may get glimpses, fleeting moments of sweet surrender that like a beacon shines a guiding light into our lives leading us home again. Follow your longings. They are your way home. Unique to you.

When the stirring begins we can become disorientated, confused and uncomfortable - some seek refuge in food, escape, thrills, drugs, alcohol ... no judgement ... some seek answers from teachers, guides, gurus ... no judgement ... some vent in anger, vengefulness and violence ... no judgement ... some seek a cure from doctors, therapists, practitioners ... no judgement ...

IT IS TIME TO GO HOME, TO BE HOME, TO BELONG

Some choose to look away from their vulnerability and pain ... no judgement ...

For those who seek Great Spirit, the Divine will infuse your heart with remembering, with beauty, with oneness ... no judgement ... maybe not as you might expect, or when you expect ... YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL ... no judgement ... YOU ARE HOME!

An alternative perspective might say;

Feelings of confusion and disorientation are the signs of an old story no longer working and breaking down. Normal now lies in between stories. Everything is on shaky ground. The shadow has no where to hide and is out in the full glare of public noticing. We can run, but we cannot hide. It is uncomfortable, unpalatable and painful ... refugee children in cold, loveless camps ... people in power making abusive statements ... corruption exposed ... war ... self harm ... all this heightened and ever increasing pain is a sign that change is coming ... it is not an indication to return to old stories, old comforts and or reactionary, isolationist, separate ways of looking after your own ... this is not about building walls internal or external ... it is about keeping focused ... reminding yourself of your true values ... holdings strong to the mast of your ship and riding out the storms of destruction ... because what is coming is not yet possible to see ... the invisible has yet to reveal itself to us ... we are in-between stories ... and this liminal space is no bad thing ... it brings us humbly closer to the mystery and uncertainty ... from here something new can come forward ... hold steady ... hold your own story that is true to you and listen to all those wanting to tell their story ... we all might learn something in the process ... diversity matters!

There is nothing wrong with you!

I absolutely love this photograph and the words running alongside. I feel rejuvenated, uplifted and inspired. More, more, more ...